


Oath of Love.

by sonnet_18



Category: Togainu no Chi
Genre: Angst, Family Member Death, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mourning, Prayer, memorial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 06:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18440495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonnet_18/pseuds/sonnet_18
Summary: Another one shot fanfic loosely based from Mistress Arachnia’s MotoNano story.What should Nano do if one day Motomi came back smelling of burial flowers?





	Oath of Love.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Tourniquet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18185540) by [Nicole Premier (MistressArachnia)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressArachnia/pseuds/Nicole%20Premier). 
  * Inspired by [Russian Drinking Games](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18064172) by [Nicole Premier (MistressArachnia)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressArachnia/pseuds/Nicole%20Premier). 



> As I’ve mentioned, this is a one shot based on Mistress Arachnia’s MotoNano couple from RP and story ideas. I even included some discussions I had with her. Recently I saw a memorial service to victims of the March 11th Tsunami Japan tragedy and it made me wonder if it’s possible for in TnC verse to have a similar version for the victims of ENED massacre. 
> 
>  
> 
> I think it’s best if you read Sarah’s MotoNano stories first to have an idea of the MotoNano relationship dynamic in this story (plus she’s an amazing Nano writer and role player too. Please follow and read her works!)
> 
>  
> 
> Tourniquet - https://archiveofourown.org/works/18185540
> 
> Drinking Game - https://archiveofourown.org/works/18064172
> 
>  
> 
> I also wrote another fanfic one shot of her MotoNano here called “Rhyme Song” if you are interested to read some more MotoNano XD
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/18165350

*tic toc tic toc*

Nano had been reading the same line for the 3rd time before he finally gave up and put away the book. Reading was his favourite past time, second to spending every minute with Motomi. However, today he’s alone in the hotel room. Time passed by so slowly without him.

He browsed the sparse wall to locate the clock with its endless noise of ticking. His eyes alight with a purple shade when he saw it’s almost 4pm. Finally! Motomi told him he’d return by this time and Nano quickly stood up to wait by the door like a house cat waiting for its owner.

There were sounds of heavy footsteps coming near the entrance door. Nano had always been expressionless but one indicator to show his excitement was his honest eyes. Before they were grey and now they lit up with a purplish hue of pleasure. He watched the door unlocked and in came the man who rescued him from this hell on Earth.

Remembering human knowledge such as manners and speech, Nano opened his mouth as he stepped forward.

“Welcome ho---”

But he stopped himself when he saw Motomi’s appearance once the door swung open. The man was drenched from head to toe from rain water. Motomi stepped into the abode like the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. He seemed to be in a very foul mood and yet at the same time... sunk in grief.

For a moment Nano was uncertain if Motomi realized his presence just few feet in front of the taller man.

“Motomi?”

Nano called out to him to get his attention.

But Motomi didn’t reply.

Not even an indicator that he was aware Nano stood a few feet in front of him. His eyes were empty and a dark shadow lingered behind him.

Worried, Nano reached out to touch Motomi but the older man stepped away from him.

Nano froze.

That was the first time Motomi ignored his presence. At least the first time they met back at the church in Toshima, the older man aimed his gun at him with a strong emotion in his eyes. At least he LOOKED at him.

But this time Motomi didn't even glance at him. It’s strange that Nano was used to any sort of physical torture and experimentation by others but to be ignored by someone he cared about... it’s as if a bucket of frozen water was splashed on him!

Motomi quickly took off his shoes and then moved past Nano to enter.

“Sorry... not now.”

And not another word was spoken to the survivor.

Nano turned around after he neatly rearranged Motomi’s shoes by the door. He watched as his master went into the bedroom’s shower in silence.

For a moment Nano could detect the scent of... incense from Motomi? It was very light, almost buried among other scents of rain water, tobacco smoke and... burial flowers?

Why did Motomi rejected him? What sin have he committed this time?

*******

*clip clip clip*

Nano was confused. The moment Motomi returned home, his owner had been quiet like a cemetery. Not even acknowledging his existence.

However now...

Now the both of them were on the queen size hotel bed. Motomi had Nano sat between his legs as he helped the younger man clipped his long nails! Of all things he fussed about...

“Your hands are dry, I’ll apply some lotion to them before we head to bed later.”

Motomi commented as he brought one of Nano’s wrist to his lips as if a lover kiss a maiden’s hand in greeting.

Nano shivered a bit when he felt Motomi’s light kiss. His body reacted in arousal but he forced himself to sit still and behave. Motomi warned him to or else his fingers would get injured.

What a big change of mood from his lover. Nano almost doubted himself if what he saw back at the doorway was just a mirage. That the rejecting Motomi was an illusion of his mind. The Motomi now almost resembled like his old self. Almost. Because small talk instead of his cheery manner remained heavy in the air.

Nano was determined to stay away until Motomi noticed his nails and fussed over them. It was funny because Nano didn’t care much about his body. Besides, his nails always grew fast anyway so weekly nail-clipping almost felt like a hassle. Furthermore, his partner didn’t seem to complain whenever Nano left marks on his back after their nightly passionate time together. So why start now?

The journalist had been strangely... down after emerging from the bathroom and wore his pyjamas. Unlike himself who couldn’t express his emotions well, figuring out why Motomi gave him the cold shoulder and now suddenly helping him to cut his nails felt like a riddle even Nano couldn’t decipher!

Nano wondered if he had done something wrong. Was Motomi upset with him? But his lover didn’t seem angry AT him. After all the former information broker wouldn’t have been extra... touchy around Nano this evening. Hugging him, kissing his cheeks, playing with those curly locks. Innocent touches rather than an arousing invitation of pleasurable acts.

The cold splash of frozen water from before... it now felt like a warm and addicting hot bath with his God.

But he couldn’t help noticing the oddness of the situation. Motomi would only be this quiet if he’s down with a flu. And why could he smell the faint scent of incense from the journalist’s black suit earlier on?

What usually accompanied these loving touches with words of love and endearment was... silence. As if he’s in a silent prayer within a church.

Usually any attention or small actions delighted Nano. All these years of solitude, condemning his cursed blood and the fear people had of seeing him as a monster... any kind touches, Nano starved for them. Only with Motomi he ever experienced unconditional attention without ulterior motives. Before this, selfish humans only seek out his powerful blood for their greed. Or to obey like a puppet to execute their evil plan for world domination.

“Done. Now give me your left hand, love.”

Nano obeyed as Motomi gently worked on trimming those.

This week they travelled back to Japan but Motomi only mentioned briefly it’s not for a job assignment. He reassured Nano that this short return to Japan was just something he had to do. The two would be leaving on an early flight tomorrow hence they stayed at a hotel instead of an apartment.

Due to his overprotective nature, Motomi would always bring Nano with him everywhere to ensure his special lover remained safe by his side. But this time he requested the survivor to stay at home. The whole morning til late afternoon, Nano wasn’t able to finish reading a single book that Motomi bought for him. The weather had been horrible since dawn. Heavy rain and strong gale of wind that almost rattled the barred, glass windows.

“You didn’t turn on the TV today, right?”

Nano blinked then nodded. Any orders from his saviour, he’d fulfil to the fullest.

“...Good. I’m glad this hotel doesn’t have a radio too.”

Nano’s eyes swirled a shade of blue. Motomi must be referring to the rectangular vintage object sat atop the kitchen table.

“Was there a reason I shouldn’t have turn on those devices?”

At this Motomi sighed then he wrapped his arms tight around Nano’s chest.

“Yeah, it’s best that you’re spared from watching or listening to their bullshit debate. What thought and prayers? They’re all useless to what has been done. Some even deny it ever happened and that no official apology should be issued. The nerve of those bastards...”

At this his sighed and kiss Nano’s temple, “... I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you back at the doorway. I was... I had a lot on my mind...”

Nano tried to process what Motomi was talking about. He didn’t understand and decided maybe facing each other would be better. And so he turned around in Motomi’s arms and sat on his lap. He rested his palms on Motomi’s shoulder as the older man shamefully avoided his gaze.

“Why are you apologizing...?”

“Today... I went... to a ruined site of a... research facility from several years ago. Every year the locals run a memorial service. Relatives of the staffs who died in the area paid their respects. I was there to p--- to observe it...”

Nano nodded though he was still clueless as to why Motomi was acting oddly. Was there something he’s hiding? Usually Motomi would share every detail about his job or places he went to. This time... the journalist was strangely vague around Nano.

“I was in a foul mood after I returned from the service. They said all these cruel and ignorant things about y---... arghhh, seriously, I wont come back here next year. I hate the government and our military. I’m done with them. Done!”

Nano tilted his head to the side in confusion, “why?”

Motomi sighed then pulled his soul mate close so he could rest his head on Nano’s frail shoulder.

“The mayor of the town decided to preserve the ruined building and convert it into a museum. To honour the memory and incident of the workers. The project has been going for a few months now that the ground floor is ready for visitors. I went in to have a look and saw these pictures and doll models to show the reality of the... facility.”

At this Motomi’s voice lowered into a growl.

“What a load of rubbish and crap. The pictures displayed were mostly fake or edited. Most showed smiling staffs and happy children. As if it’s a fun day care. The mannequin dolls that re-enacts the researchers and ‘harmless medical tests’ are all wrong! They glorified them like unsung heroes on saving these ‘ill’ children who ‘perished’ in the fire!”

Motomi embraced Nano tighter.

“Not once, not a single picture nor even a small cut out of a newspaper article was displayed about what caused the so called ‘fire incident’ of the facility! They simply lied the fire was from arson! They buried the real truth, hide the disgusting and shameful facts of the actual purpose of the lab! Nothing was shown about the experimented prisoners and victims! Nothing about the Russians, Koreans and even some of the staffs’ own children! Nothing!”

Nano got hugged by Motomi so hard that he’s squished against the broader man. Unsure what to do, he gently wrapped his arms around his lover’s head. Hugging him back.

The way Nano hugged him close with those slender arms and thin body snapped Motomi out of his rage and he forced himself to calm down.

“Shit... I’m sorry, Nano. Did I hurt your back?”

He gently untangled himself from his lover and put some distance between them.

“I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt, Motomi.” Nano assured him.

Motomi nodded in reply.

.... An awkward silence filled the bedroom now that Motomi finished his burst of anger.

Nano was naturally quiet so he himself wasn’t sure what was the proper way to address this. From his observation, it’s safe to say Motomi was not mad at him but perhaps at the mayor and at the newly rebuilt museum.

Why would he be so angry at an old building?

“Hey Nano...”

Nano’s train of thought was interrupted by Motomi’s call, “...?”

“....do you remember... that small operating room? The one on the 2nd floor facing the forest garden? Building number 3, unit 12 section C?”

Nano blinked again and shook his head. Why was Motomi asking this random but specific question about ENED all of a sudden?

“I was often given drugs to sedate me. I couldn’t tell where I was all the time. Every room I was confined to all look the same.”

But there was one particular room that was a bit different. It was the time when Arbitro took him to a room... Nano remembered because unlike the other research staff, they usually worked in groups or pairs. And always wore gloves, face masks or apron as if readying themselves to enter a very contaminated room that housed an infectious beast.

Arbitro was dressed only in a regular white coat and gloves. The knifes and tools he played with were just regular ones. As well as some feathers and whip. It was as if Arbitro didn’t realize he was playing with fire...

“I see... so you don’t remember me back then too.”

Nano snapped out of his daze. He was lost in his vague memories that he didn’t catch Motomi’s whispered words.

“What did you say?”

Motomi shook his head, “I’ll explain one day but not tonight...”. He held Nano’s pale and cold hands in his. “I... I failed to rescue you that time...”

Motomi felt so much remorse and regret right now. Every year he attended the ENED memorial service to honour the passing of his late son and the rest of the victims. Although he used to practise another belief, he attended with the rest of the mourning parents and family members of the staffs to pay their respect to them.

Motomi recalled how this afternoon, the mourners all hated the “arsonist” that caused the “fire” of the lab. They had no idea about Nicole project. They all thought their fallen sibling or children were killed due to a cruel accident by a cruel sadist who had a cruel heart. Nobody knew that Nano himself was a victim too.

Motomi wanted to defend his lover. He wanted to unveil the truth to these people. But what good can it do to Nano? He already went through so much pain, manipulation, torture that it’s best to let him live quietly as they globe trek, away from the unwanted spotlight and attention. He just wanted to live in peace after the fall of Toshima. Who knows what would happen once CFC find out Nicole Premier was still at large.

Motomi felt so regretful that before he met and learn who Nano really was, he was just like the mourners. They wanted a person to blame all of this mess. It’s so easy to blame someone for your own mistake after all.

If only he realized the boy he rescued that time from Arbitro was Nano himself. If only he dug deeper, if only he investigate about it further, he’ll realize something suspicious was going on among the higher rank researches. Why Arbitro was fired immediately and that they were doing human experimentations on children!

If only he knew... then it would have been possible to rescue Nano from the inhuman prison he was trapped in. If Nano was rescued, the massacre of ENED laboratory wouldn’t have happened... but instead Motomi lost his son... his wife... and worse, blamed Nano. Another victim... an autistic, orphan victim who witnessed the death of his own family before his eyes. Motomi felt so stupid to think hunting down Nano all those years ago was a bright idea. To place all his guilt and blame on this child.

“I’m sick and tired of failing to save my loved ones. I’ll not... repeat the same mistake again. This time...”

Motomi laced their fingers together...

“This time, I’ll never... ever let go of your hand. I’ll never leave you alone again, Nano. I’ll always be by your side. I promise.”

At this he brought Nano’s hand to his lips again. To seal his oath.

“With all my heart, I swear to you I’ll protect you from now on.”

Nano was going to ask about what Motomi meant but all questions went out the window once he felt those lips.

Plus... All his life Nano never heard such words from someone. And seriously, he never experienced being kissed like that too. Kissed so gently...

Was it funny to be jealous of a cigarette? Nano always envied Motomi’s cigarette as they always find their way to his lips.

But this time... with the way Motomi kissed his hand... it was as if Motomi kissed a beautiful flower.

One would think Nano as a ghost, not human, a monster. All they ever see from him was either as a useful vessel to keep the poisonous blood within him As a weapon or a perfect killing machine. Humans were selfish creatures who only manipulate and used others for their own advantage.

What could Motomi possibly gain from this? Seeing him as a beautiful flower of all things?

Nano couldn’t entirely understand as he silently watched Motomi kissed each of his scars on his fingers and hands. He also didn’t resist when Motomi moved to kiss the marks on Nano’s wrists too.

Nano felt his heart stop when Motomi stared directly into his amethyst eyes.

Motomi gazed at him with half lidded eyes. He stared at Nano as if he really desired and cherished him as someone precious and not as a... disposable.

Nano wondered if he’s dreaming.

But it couldn’t be a dream as Motomi pulled him down to lay on the bed, facing each other. Motomi pulled the mattress over them with his free hand as the other still entwined with Nano’s hand. The older man also pulled Nano close protectively. He felt safe in Motomi’s strong arms, surrounded by his musky scent despite the hotel’s cheap shampoo.

“I’ll not ... allow anyone to hurt you... ever again. I promise.”

Motomi murmured. The exhaustion finally caught up with him as he was unable to sleep well the night before.

Not knowing how else to reply, Nano simply nodded in his embrace.

That seemed to satisfy Motomi as he granted Nano a kiss on the head.

“Hey Nano...”

”Yes?”

”Next year when we return to Japan again around this season... let’s go to somewhere nice.”

”...nice?”

”Yeah, I feel guilty for leaving you alone here and then we have to jet out tomorrow. Next year when the flowers bloom... I’ll bring you to watch the Sakura trees. They flowers are especially beautiful by the lake.”

Nano never heard of Sakura trees. He wonder if the tree bark or leaves would be delicious to try.

”Do you like Sakura flowers, Motomi?”

”Hmm... I like a lot of flowers. I also like sunflowers too! Okay! That’ll be our second destination then. When summer comes along, I’ll show you the beautiful sunflower fields by my hometown.”

”Hometown...”

”Yep, but oh, remind me to apply sun screen lotion on you. After all you get easily flushed and burn by the heat after all ahaha...”

Nano just nodded, he really liked listening to Motomi’s voice.

Several minutes later of silence, Nano wondered why Motomi stopped talking. When he heard soft snores from his owner, he moved his head fo look up. Nano saw Motomi really did fall asleep! He must be exhausted...

So many questions swirled around Nano’s head. Motomi’s weird behaviour, his declaration, his vows...

In a soft voice, Nano spoke.

“....my spirit was rotting in an empty sleep. All these times I hurt and killed countless with these blood drenched hands... yet you ... You spoke like a bird with a language I don’t understand. You sang of regret and promises. You swore to protect me, as if I’m as pretty as a Sakura flower, in these warm arms... Me. A monster.”

As gentle as a cat’s paw steps, Nano moved to kiss Motomi on the lips.

They have kissed before this but somehow... that kiss just now...

The more he stared at Motomi’s sleeping form, the more Nano felt a strange sensation in his chest.

His heart beat faster than usual. What was happening? Even his cheeks felt flushed.

Usually he only experienced these symptoms when they were in the heat of the moment in the bedroom.

But both of them weren’t doing anything sexual. Motomi simply held his hand and said those beautiful promises!

What was happening? Did he got sick? Caught a cold?

Come to think of it, some of Motomi’s words sounded familiar. He read this somewhere in his books. Especially the ones with dragons and princess and knights...

Oh well, he can’t refer to the books now since Motomi still held his hand. And it’s not like Nano wanted to leave the warm bed so soon.

Feeling happy and content (two very rare feelings that Nano rediscovered) he tucked himself close. He’ll find out the answers to these questions tomorrow. For now, please let him enjoy this moment of bliss with his protector until death do us part. He really hoped next year will arrive soon so both of them could enjoy the beautiful flowers that Motomi spoke of...

 

.......

 

............

 

................

 

End?

 

**Author's Note:**

> I grew fond of Nano after talking to Sarah. Last time I wrote Rhyme Song because I wanted to write Motomi rescue Nano from a tree (please don’t ask why I have odd Plot ideas ahaha... Orz) and this time I wrote this one shot cuz I want to write Motomi fussed over Nano’s long nails!
> 
> The reason Motomi held Nano in his arms as he used the nail clipper because he couldn’t do it while sitting opposite of Nano. So he pulled him to his chest and clip it like he’s clipping his own nails! I tried this with my nephews and nieces! It IS EASIER TO CLIP WHILE HOLDING THEM! VERY CONVENIENT!
> 
> I wanted to write a hurt and comfort one shot but somehow it didn’t come out as planned. This one shot came out as too much talking instead Orz I’m sorry if the povs and narration was kinda confusing.
> 
> Basically just like past war crimes of Japan, the government mostly deny the atrocities they committed to other countries. Even with what happened in Unit 731. Most of the staff didn’t get charged for their crime and most victims were just forgotten with no justice.
> 
> In this story one shot, Motomi was mad that the Mayor tried to hide ENED’s atrocities by saying an arsonist lit the lab building on fire and caused these children and staff to die. While in fact Nicole Premier went berserk and killed everyone while trying to escape. 
> 
> Motomi was angry both at the mayor, the people who attended the service memorial and even himself because there was no justice to Nano. History just forgot about him and worse if he’s found by the CFC, they would most likely detain him or eliminate him. No one was like “poor you” and more like “we need to kill this monster or else it’ll be shameful of Japan to be found using foreign kids as human experiments!!”
> 
> Motomi purposely didn’t tell Nano he went to ENED’s memorial service prayer because he didn’t want Nano to know about his late son. That was why he was being vague about it. I have this thinking that Motomi wants to close that painful chapter and just love Nano as he is. 
> 
> About Motomi rescuing Nano scene from Arbitro, the credit goes to Sarah/Mistress Arachnia’s. It’s her original headcannon about how Motomi first lied that he never met Premier then amended to Akira that he did see and admitted Nano was just a victim. You will learn more once the future chapters of Tourniquet will be uploaded ^_^
> 
> And... uh, it’s not that obvious at the end of the story but I also want to add what I think might happen when Nano discover the true feeling of love or a crush on someone. He had been so abused and conditioned to obey and manipulated that for him to feel true emotions of tenderness and affection is... so special. He felt that way to Akira when they first met, Akira was his light.
> 
> But in Sarah’s story, Akira chose another... 
> 
> So in this verse, Motomi took him under his wing, I want to imagine this was how Nano fell in love (although they already had sex. I HC that Nano is possibly a late bloomer and he’s still getting used to this new thing called free will and autonomy thingy akdbfjekcn please join Motomi’s Nano fan club with me TwT we need more Nano love love fans!)


End file.
